When Someone You Love Is Having a Tough Time, Remind Them of These 20 Things

If someone you love is having a tough time right now, there are some things that you can remind them of which will help them trough their difficulties. Whatever you say to someone who is struggling, the most important thing is to ensure your tone of voice and demeanor is appropriate. Remind your loved one of the following things in a warm, encouraging way, and not in a “pull your socks up” way. Your approach will make all the difference to the response you get.

1. It’s OK Not to Be OK

When people are struggling, they often make themselves feel worse by placing unrealistic expectations on themselves. They beat themselves up for having a problem and feeling unable to cope with it. Remind your loved one that they are no less of a person just because they are facing something challenging right now. You love them and will support them in good times and bad.

2. You’re Not Alone

Identifying with the person who is struggling can help them feel better. They realize, then, that they are not bearing the weight of the world alone. Remind them that others have had this problem, and that they already have found a way through it. Just knowing that they are not alone can help them feel less lonely and more hopeful. Encourage your loved one to join a support group or forum if appropriate.

3. Let Go of Blame

Sometimes when people are struggling, they either want to blame themselves or other people for their circumstances. It’s OK to initially express anger and frustration, but wallowing in feelings of unfairness or blame will make them feel worse and wastes their energy. Help your loved one to see that the way out their difficulties is in looking for solutions and not in assigning blame or hanging onto angry feelings.

4. Struggles Make You Stronger

Wisdom, strength and resilience can all be built from the foundations of tough times. Help your loved one to see how they’re growing as a person, even if they feel like they’re going through hell. It’s so important not to be glib or patronizing when you’re saying this ‒ actually tell your loved one the new strengths you see in them.

5. Take a Step Back

People going through tough times often lose perspective, because they feel so mired in the problem itself. Reminding someone to step back from the situation can help them to see things in a fresh light, and will help them find new solutions.

6. Nothing Lasts Forever

The terrible thing about really tough times is that they feel like they will go on forever. But, in reality, nothing lasts forever ‒ not even the most horrible emotions or the direst circumstances. Reminding your loved one of this can help them gain perspective and feel comforted at the same time.

7. Take Things Step By Step

Tough times can often bring complex and confusing feelings, and those who are struggling may feel paralyzed and unable to make decisions. Remind them that they don’t have to solve the whole problem at once. If they just do the next right thing, they will start to make progress.

8. Look For The Open Door

When life shuts one door, another one will always open. Losing something will always lead to new opportunities, but only if you are open to them. Remind your loved one to stay alert to fresh opportunities and solutions.

9. Just Do Your Best

People who are struggling can put so much pressure on themselves to get things right that they feel even more upset when they don’t meet their own unrealistic expectations. Remind them that as long as they just do their best, that’s all that matters. They are human, after all. Their best is good enough.

10. You’ve Come Through Tough Times Before

If someone you love is having a hard time, it may be difficult for them to see their strengths. Reminding them that they have already survived tough times before can show them that there is an end in sight, and that they have the strength to reach it.

11. You’re Brave

Most people who are struggling refuse to acknowledge how strong and brave they actually are. They may see themselves as weak and scared. Remind them that courage is not the absence of fear. It’s the willingness to go on even when you’re afraid.

12. There Is Something Good in Each Day

Going through difficulties can lead to a negative mindset. If someone is really going through a desperately hard time, and dealing with something like depression, being all happy-clappy with them won’t work. But do ask them about the good things in their life, what has gone well, and what they have achieved. It will help them to see a glimmer of hope, even in the darkness.

13. Look at What You’re Gaining

Even when someone has a difficult problem, there will always be an upside to it. Whether it’s finding out who their true friends are when they’re struggling, or having the opportunity to develop patience, strength and problem-solving abilities, there will always be a silver lining. Help your loved one to find it.

14. It’s Not Your Fault

Sometimes when people are struggling, they take their problems very personally, almost believing that their difficulties are sent in some way to punish them. If your loved one is doing this, reminding them that it’s not their fault can help them feel relieved.

15. Well Done

Validating someone for their efforts when they’re having a miserable time can make a big difference in their day. If someone is struggling, they may not acknowledge their own hard work. Giving them praise can help them feel rewarded and appreciated..

16. Focus on Now

Often people make their tough times even tougher by worrying about the future or fretting about the past. They may add to their misery by letting themselves think back to all the times life has treated them badly or that they’ve failed before; or they may fear that their current difficulty will lead to yet more problems. Remind them to focus on now, because that’s the only part of the story they can change at the moment.

17. Nothing Is Ever the End of the World

Very few problems, however big or small, can actually stop you from breathing. You can encourage your loved one by reminding them that everything is survivable and beatable. They will find a way of dealing with this issue, however tough, if only they keep trying.

18. Be Kind To Yourself

When someone is going through a hard time, they may feel so frustrated by their problems that they resort to beating themselves up or not allowing themselves a minute of reprieve from the issue. Remind your loved one that tough times are easier when we’re kind to ourselves. They are allowed “time off” from their problem to have a laugh, treat themselves, and be around good people. Relieving stress can actually help them to come back to the problem refreshed and recharged.

19. People Want to Help

If your loved one is suffering, they may believe that they have to go through it all by themselves. They may not want to burden others with their problems, and won’t want to ask for help. Remind them that most people are amenable to helping; in fact, helping feels good. The reason people have different strengths is precisely so that they can help each other. Encourage your loved one to seek extra help should they need it.

20. I’m There For You

The strength of these words can not be underestimated. Letting your loved one know that you’re there for them, and that you will listen to their feelings, dry their tears, or even just be around, can mean everything to someone going through hell. Just being a non-judgmental, caring presence in your loved one’s life can make a massive difference in how they feel and how they cope.
Found on http://raffaellagrassi.blogspot.com/

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10 Habits of Really Happy Couples

It seems like a happy relationship should come naturally when you’re with the right person, but that’s not true. Relationships require work. Happy couples have to maintain their relationships every day with love and care, but it’s not as daunting of a task as it may seem. There’s no real “secret” to having a happy relationship, but there are things you can do to make it all come more easily. Try to integrate these habits into your daily life and see how much happier your relationship can be.

1. Go to bed at the same time.

I used to think it was silly to want to go to bed at the same time as my partner, but it does wonders for your relationship! If one of us stays up later than the other, our whole evening feels off. There’s something cozy about sliding under the covers together, talking about what happened during the day or what’s on the list for tomorrow. My fiancé works the night shift, and without realizing it, my schedule also changed until I was a night owl, doing my freelance work during the late hours while he was at his job. When he came home early in the morning, I’d go to bed with him just to get that connection you can only get from sleeping and waking up together.

2. Cultivate common interests.

It’s important to keep your own hobbies when you’re part of a couple, of course, because you want to stay true to yourself and not change your personality. But you and your partner can cultivate common interests without changing who either of you are, and it will make your relationship stronger as a result. I love reading and writing, which are typically solitary hobbies, but my fiancé doesn’t hesitate to grab a book and sit next to me on the couch, or he’ll write a story too, and we can give each other feedback. He loves painting, and I can hardly draw a stick figure, but when he asks me to help him with a painting, I love to try and do my best with bright streaks of color. As a result, we’ve both found that it doesn’t matter what you do together (or in the case of my painting attempts, how well you do it), just that you’re doing enjoyable things together.

3. Walk hand in hand.

My hatred of hand-holding started in elementary school, when you had to hold hands with a buddy so you wouldn’t get lost on a field trip. Since then, I’ve never held hands with anyone and not gotten immediately sweaty palms. It’s one of the worst feelings! With my partner, though, I love holding hands. It makes me feel so happy and connected to him just to hold hands as we walk through the neighborhood, or even around the grocery store. Even if we don’t hold hands, we keep pace and walk side by side. I find that more often than not, my hand either finds his, or I slide my arm around his waist. There’s something really nice about walking perfectly in step with your partner.

4. Make trust and forgiveness your default mode.

It’s so easy to fight about stupid nothings and hold a grudge, but that’s not the way to be happy in a relationship. You have to forgive your partner after a fight, even if it’s something major. You might feel like they’ve betrayed your trust, but if you don’t give them another chance, then your relationship can never feel natural again. There will always be a rift because you don’t trust your partner, and feel like any time your back is turned, they’ll be doing something hurtful. On the other side, your partner won’t feel loved in the relationship because they’ll have never gotten your full forgiveness. Let your heart love easier by truly forgiving and honestly trusting your partner.

5. Focus on what your partner does right, not wrong.

No one likes a nit-pick! Don’t chastise your partner every time you think they do something wrong. There are nice ways to inform someone if they hurt your feelings, or to correct them if they do something in a bad way. But instead of yelling at your partner for breaking a plate, thank them for washing the dishes for you—hey, soap makes things slippery! Your partner will appreciate that you’re seeing the positive things they’re bringing to the relationship, and being more positive and complimentary will make you feel better than being negative all the time.

6. Hug each other when you see each other after work.

This one is easy—who doesn’t want to melt into a comforting hug after a hard day? And if you had a good day, share your excitement with a hug. You can’t beat ‘em. And once you start hugging, you’ll feel so much happier that you’ll find it easier to make time to cuddle with your partner instead of getting stressed by the things you need to get done around the house.

7. Say “I love you” and “Have a good day” every morning.

Another easy tip! Saying sweet words to each other is never a waste of breath. My fiancé and I say “I love you” any time we part—whether it’s on the phone, when he leaves for work, when I run an errand. It makes you feel much happier, and is always a good note to end on when you go about your days.

8. Say “Good night” every night, regardless of how you feel.

Same with “Have a good day,” saying “Good night” when you and your partner go to bed puts a nice, loving haze on the end of the day. My fiancé and I have a nightly routine we say before falling asleep. I won’t reveal it here because it’s special to us, but it includes “Good night,” “I love you,” and other nice phrases that make you feel good and inspire sweet dreams!

9. Do a “weather” check during the day.

A “weather” check is where you call your partner during the day to see how they are. A caring phone call or text can really brighten their day and show them that you’re thinking of them. As an added bonus, it gives you a heads up about how their day is going. If they’re having a tough time, you can curb your happiness about a work promotion and be more sympathetic as soon as you get home. You can tailor your attitude to make them feel that much better when you both get home.

10. Be grateful for what you have.

This is the simplest tip of all, because if you’re in a relationship, you clearly value your partner. Be thankful that you have someone you love who loves you back. Be thankful that they help you with household chores and support you during tough times and cheer you on during the good times. Look at your partner as much as you can and just smile that you have them by your side.

Found here  http://raffaellagrassi.blogspot.com/

30 Simple Secrets to Get Happy Instantly

It is said that happiness is a state of mind. Why is it really necessary for us to stay happy most of the time?

Staying happy not only makes you feel better; it also helps you to find the good in people and in life. It generates an aura of positivity around you. Naturally, others are drawn to you and wish for your company. Also, when you are happy, your body produces endorphins and other chemicals that help your body repair and heal on its own. Isn’t that cool? And to be happy, you need not do grand stuff.

Life offers us small pleasures all the time. We just need to spot them.

Here are some simple ways to get happy instantly.

1. Smile.

It is the best and simplest way to get happy instantly. It does not cost you anything and helps relieve stress and anxiety. Whenever your mood hits a low, flaunt your killer smile!

2. Think about your loved one.

Nothing is more soothing than thinking about your beloved. It automatically puts a smile on your face and makes you happier within seconds.

3. Sing a song.

Although it may seem funny if you are in office, go out on the terrace and sing loudly.

4. Meditate.

Wherever you are, if you feel low, close your eyes. Start deeply breathing, i.e. inhaling and exhaling slowly; try calming down your mind. Think about good memories that you have experienced.

5. Walk barefoot on green grass.

This is a unique pleasure in and of itself. The tickling sensation of the soft grass beneath our feet diverts us from the daily monotony and freshens up our mind. If you happen to be near a garden when feeling low, do this. It will surely make you happy instantly.

6. Unplug.

Take a break from all sorts of social media. Sometimes, it’s really exhausting trying to pretend that you have a perfect life, especially in front of people who are just on your friend list and don’t even know the real, unique you. Being different or having flaws is perfectly normal. Accept your life the way it is and improve it; make each moment count!

7. Compliment others.

Have you always wanted to tell someone that they are very well dressed or cool or good looking? You should definitely pass on a genuine compliment. You’ll be instantly happy once you see the other person glow.

8. Declutter.

Sometimes your mood is instantly lifted the moment you rearrange your space, be it in the cupboard or shelves. It helps shed off monotonous surroundings.

9. Try something new.

Have you always wanted to learn some type of dance form or how to play an instrument, but didn’t get a chance to do so? Perhaps you want to learn a new form of art or another language. Spontaneously enroll yourself for such a course. See how instantly your mood is lifted.

10. Plan a small reunion with your pals.

It’s true that everybody has a busy schedule nowadays. Break free and plan a random reunion with your buddies. The joy we feel after meeting them is simply awesome!

11. Get nostalgic.

The joy of flipping through old pictures is just incomparable, be it your childhood pictures or your marriage or even your kid’s childhood snaps.

12. Watch funny stuff.

Timeless comedies like Charlie Chaplin, Laurel and Hardy, and Tom and Jerry will instantly restore your mood and make you feel delightful.

13. Do good deeds.

Do at least one good deed daily and see how blissful you feel. It could be any simple thing, such as helping an old person cross the street or helping some poor kids by buying their books, teaching someone or sponsoring their education or donating funds to the needy. I bet you will feel really happy after helping someone.

14. Know that it’s going to be OK.

Life isn’t meant too be taken very seriously. Enjoy it to the fullest. Explore new things in your lifetime—stuff you really love doing. Take chances; fall in love. Get to know your neighbors. Help society in whatever way possible. Make someone’s day. Challenge yourself and dare to try life instead of feeling helpless in any situation. You’ll be a happier person indeed.

15. Read interesting books.

Pick up any book you love. This world is full of interesting facts and mysteries. Read about them. You will know things many people don’t know. Having that extra edge over others will surely make you smile. I am talking about healthy competition here.

16. Change your route.

If you have been take the same road for multiple years to reach your office, home, or college, change the route. Change could uplift your mood and make you happier.

17. Inhale your favorite scent.

Inhaling your favorite scent calms down your mind, de-stresses you, and makes you happier.

18. Hold gratitude.

There are several good people in our life who have helped us through our ups and downs. Express your gratitude to them. Not only does it show that you are a good human; it also helps you acknowledge their efforts of helping you.

19. Watch the sunrise or sunset.

Depending what time of the day it is, spare some time to view nature’s beauty. This helps us realize how wonderful our earth is!

20. Live in the present.

Learn to enjoy every moment of life because today’s deeds will determine our future. Don’t get stressed by unpleasant situations. If they don’t matter few years from now, they really don’t matter at all!

21. Call an old friend.

The joy of calling up an old friend and reviving some of the memories is a good way of instantly lifting our mood and becoming happy.

22. Take charge of your life.

Tired or fed up with your current job or course? Change it! Do everything and anything your heart desires. Take small steps in the right direction instead of taking giant footsteps in the wrong direction. At the end of the day, your happiness matters the most!

23. Feel the fresh air.

Go for a walk outdoors and feel the fresh air. It will cheer you up instantly.

24. Maximum family time.

Spending maximum time with our family is one of the best ways to keep ourselves happy. Our family selflessly accepts us for who we are.
Show them that you care. Be grateful. Small, simple gestures keep us happy.

25. Play any sport.

Playing sports not only helps us maintain our fitness; it also helps us to remain cheerful. Playing relieves our stress.

26. Thought to remember.

“This moment is not permanent in life.” Read this line whenever you’re happy, angry, sad, upset, cheated or lonely. It will surely help relieve anxiety.

27. Hobbies.

Work on any of your favorite hobbies and see the difference in your mood! It could be hiking, reading, watching a movie, or absolutely anything that makes you smile!

28. Go for a holiday.

Plan something even if you are currently sitting in the office. It could be a short or a long vacation.

The prospect of chilling out with our beloved makes us smile instantly!

29. Express yourself.

We are humans and we really need to speak to someone about our problems or write them down in our personal diary.

Just express yourself and feel content.

30. Feel blessed.

No matter who you are, you are privileged in a variety of ways. Perhaps you were born to a well-to-do family or into a safe family environment. Maybe you have awesome parents who have been there for you your whole life, who have been supportive of your life decisions.

Maybe you have great friends who are always around, ready to help whenever needed. Maybe you’ve never gone to bed hungry due to financial problems.

Acknowledge the ways in which life has been generous to you. We cannot even imagine how difficult it must be to live the lives people lead in some parts of the world, under the threat of poverty, diseases, and terrorism.

Feel blessed; stay blessed. 🙂

Found here http://raffaellagrassi.blogspot.com/