Abraham Hicks explains – very clearly to me – how the problems we attempt to obliterate tend to get bigger and bigger and bigger and how we can turn this trend upside down.
These minor changes in your daily routine will make a major difference in your life and career.
1. Start each day with expectation.
2. Take time to plan and prioritize.
3. Give a gift to everyone you meet.
4. Deflect partisan conversations.
5. Assume people have good intentions.
6. Eat high quality food slowly.
7. Let go of your results.
8. Turn off “background” TV.
9. End each day with gratitude.
You work like a maniac at your business all week, so what do you usually do come Friday?
That’s the question posed by author Laura Vanderkam in her new e-book What the Most Successful People Do on the Weekend, a follow-up to her popular What the Most Successful People Do Before Breakfast. In it, Vanderkam talks to the über-busy and supersuccessful, and gathers research on what sorts of weekends are actually best for battling burnout to ensure you’re ready to head back to business on Monday morning.
It turns out, your meandering, lazy Saturdays may be leaving you at risk of burnout.
Too Much Time Not to Schedule
Vanderkam’s starting point: Realize exactly how precious and how abundant your weekend hours are. Even subtracting 24 hours of solid sleep from the 60 hours you have between cracking a beer at 6 p.m. on Friday and hearing the alarm at 6 a.m. on Monday, weekends offer a solid 36 hours of possible relaxation.
That’s nearly as much time as a full-time workweek and demands thoughtful strategizing, just like a job.
Or as former Republican presidential candidate and current media pundit Mike Huckabee puts it in the book: “You have to set an appointment to go off the grid as surely as to go on it.”
Scheduled Relaxation Is Not an Oxymoron
Your intense workweeks as an entrepreneur may leave you wiped come Friday, but Vanderkam argues that sitting slack-jawed in front of the TV or aimlessly surfing the Web isn’t going to get you ready for another week.
Paradoxically, really rejuvenating yourself requires getting off your duff–and that usually requires some planning.
“Other kinds of work—be it exercise, a creative hobby, hands-on parenting, or volunteering—will do more to preserve your zest for Monday’s challenges than complete vegetation or working through the weekend,” she writes.
Whether it’s coaching a kids’ sports team like the CEO of Insureon, playing a regular game of pickup soccer like celebrity chef Marcus Samuelsson, or extending a standing invitation to your friends for a Sunday evening supper like Huckabee, all the successful people profiled in the book plot out their weekends in advance (though not every minute; just a few “anchor events,” as Vanderkam dubs them) and make active use of the hours they have.
This may initially sound like less fun and more effort, but according to the high achievers Vanderkam speaks with, spending energy on the weekends actually leaves you with more zest on Monday.
Anticipation Is Half the Pleasure
Planning your weekends may sound too Type A at first, but Vanderkam claims thinking ahead doesn’t just push you toward more active (and therefore more rejuvenating) pursuits. It’s also a pleasure unto itself. “Time travel into the future—otherwise known as anticipation—accounts for a big chunk of the happiness gleaned from any event,” she writes.
It also spares you from wasting precious weekend minutes negotiating a plan with your spouse, or running around trying to find a reservation, babysitter, or willing goalkeeper to complete your five-a-side team. Plus, commitments make it harder to simply throw up your hands and claim you’re “too tired” to do anything when you wake up on Saturday.
Secret to More Refreshing Weekends
1. Realizing Your Dreams
2. Overcoming Fear
3. Intention and Desire
5. Self Acceptance
6. Appreciation and Gratitude
7. The Art of Simplicity
Conflict may feel uncomfortable, but it’s also costly to avoid. Putting off a tough conversation? Consider these strategies to get back on track.
When Susan hired her sister as a sales representative in her growing company she understood that it was a risky move. But her sister needed a job and Susan needed to increase sales, so why not give it a shot?
For two years, Susan’s sister remained the lowest ranking producer on the sales force. Every family event, sales meeting, and sisterly shopping spree was weighed down by the elephant in the room; this under-performer–who happens to be a close relative–had to go.
This is just one example of the self-sabotage that entrepreneurs engage in because they want to avoid a difficult conversation. Sister or not, business owners drag their feet when it comes to dismissing or reassigning an ineffective employee. And what about those other problems that don’t get addressed because avoiding them is so much easier? Things like lack of emotional and household support from a spouse, frequent and unnecessary disruptions by friends and family during work hours, and business relationships and arrangements that are no longer viable.
Come on, fess up. There’s at least one thing in your life that merits a conversation, yet you avoid it because it’s difficult to face.
Ironically, the pain and discomfort of putting these conversations off is usually worse than the dreaded discussion turns out to be. We tend to project all sorts of ugly scenarios, which may or may not occur. All of those “what if’s” add up and staying put in the current situation just seems easier. So, we make excuses and talk ourselves into believing that someday things will change and we will never have to directly address the problem at all.
Is there a difficult conversation hanging over your head? Consider these points and dive in. Life is usually much better on the other side!
1. You’re not the only one who is dissatisfied or unhappy.
When an employee is under-performing or a partnership not working out, it’s usually because the other party is discontent as well. Most everyone wants to succeed and thrive in their job. An under-performer who leaves work each day with the knowledge that they didn’t do their best doesn’t feel good about it. This lack of motivation may exist because they are not in the right job, or in an industry that excites them. Consider that the person on the other side of this situation may be just as unhappy as you are. Set both of you free with an honest discussion about the facts and options!
2. There’s always another side to the story.
It’s easy to get caught up in our emotions when we are dissatisfied and disappointed. You may believe that you know why someone is acting the way they do, but you probably don’t have a clue. Go into the conversation asking questions, rather than defending your position and making accusations. You may learn something that will change the whole picture and offer an easy solution to your problem. Your mother may call you during work hours because she believes it’s less disruptive than calling you while you’re at home with the kids. She may feel that she’s being considerate, while you perceive her as being needy and rude. A minor correction to her thought process could solve the whole issue and make you both more comfortable.
3. Now think: What is this delay costing you?
Living with a difficult situation costs time, money, and loads of energy. You may think it’s easier to leave it alone, but preoccupation and agitation take a lot of energy out of you. Also think about what the situation is costing you financially. Disruptions, rocky relationships, poor employee performance, and failing partnerships are money-suckers. Try keeping a few notes on the topic for a week or so. How often do you have to stop what you’re doing because of it? Does it result in lost business and missed opportunities? Do you have to trouble-shoot or step into something that you really shouldn’t be involved in? Lastly, how much time to you waste dwelling on it and replaying things in your mind? Once you calculate these emotional and financial costs the next steps may not be as daunting as they are today.
Make a list of these problems and weigh the pros and cons of addressing them. If this isn’t enough to move you forward then find a coach to work through it with you. A professional perspective will make all the difference.
1. Speak a little less, listen a little more
Most people get tremendous pleasure from speaking about themselves. But, here we have to be careful; if we always speak about our achievements or tribulations, people will get fed up with our egoism.
If we are willing and able to listen to others, we will find it much appreciated by our friends. Some people are not aware of how much they dominate the conversation. If you find you are always talking about yourself, consider the advice of the Greek philosopher, Epictectus:
“Nature gave us one tongue and two ears so we could hear twice as much as we speak.”
2. Which is more important being right or maintaining harmony?
A lot of problems in relationships occur because we want to maintain our personal pride. Don’t insist on always having the last word. Healthy relationships are not built through winning meaningless arguments. Be willing to back down; most arguments are not of critical importance anyway.
3. Avoid Gossip
If we value someone’s friendship we will not take pleasure in commenting on their frequent failings. They will eventually hear about it. But, whether we get found out or not, we weaken our relationships when we dwell on negative qualities. Avoid gossiping about anybody; subconsciously we don’t trust people who have a reputation for gossip. We instinctively trust and value people who don’t feel the need to criticise others.
Forgiveness is not just a cliché, it’s a powerful and important factor in maintaining healthy relationships. However, real forgiveness also means that we are willing to forget the experience. If we forgive one day, but then a few weeks later bring up the old misdeed, this is not real forgiveness. When we make mistakes, just consider how much we would appreciate others forgiving and forgetting.
5. Know When to Keep Silent
If you think a friend has a bad or unworkable idea, don’t always argue against it; just keep silent and let them work things out for themselves. It’s a mistake to always feel responsible for their actions. You can offer support to friends, but you can’t live their life for them.
6. Right Motive
If you view friendship from the perspective of “what can I get from this?” you are making a big mistake. This kind of relationship proves very tentative. If you make friendships with the hope of some benefit, you will find that people will have a similar attitude to you. This kind of friendship leads to insecurity and jealousy. Furthermore, these fair weather friends will most likely disappear just when you need them most. Don’t look upon friends with the perspective “what can I get out of this?”. True friendship should be based on mutual support and good will, irrespective of any personal gain.
The real secret of healthy relationships is developing a feeling of oneness. This means that you will consider the impact on others of your words and actions. If you have a true feeling of oneness, you will find it difficult to do anything that causes suffering to your friends. When there is a feeling of oneness, your relationships will be free of jealousy and insecurity.
For example, it is a feeling of oneness which enables you to share in the success of your friends. This is much better than harbouring feelings of jealousy. To develop oneness we have to let go of feelings of superiority and inferiority; good relationships should not be based on a judgemental approach. In essence, successful friendship depends on the golden rule: “do unto others as you would have done to yourself.” This is the basis of healthy relationships.
Don’t take yourself too seriously. Be willing to laugh at yourself and be self-deprecating. This does not mean we have to humiliate ourselves, far from it — it just means we let go of our ego. Humour is often the best antidote for relieving tense situations.
9. Work at Relationships but don’t over analyze
Maintaining healthy relationships doesn’t mean we have to spend several hours in the psychiatrist’s chair. It means we take a little time to consider others, remembering birthdays and anniversaries etc. But, it is a mistake to spend several hours ruminating and dissecting relationships. This makes the whole thing very mental; it’s better to forget any negative experiences. Good friendships should be built on spontaneity and newness, sharing a moment of humour can often do more benefit than several hours of discussion.
10. Concern and Detachment
Healthy relationships should be built on a degree of detachment. Here, people often make a mistake; they think that being detached means, “not caring”. However, this is not the case. Often when we develop a very strong attachment we expect the person to behave in a certain way. When they don’t we feel miserable and try to change them. A good friendship based on detachment means we will always offer good will, but we will not be upset if they wish to go a different way.
Building Healthy Relationships
How we achieve happiness can be different for each one of us. Our passions, expectations, life experiences, and even our personalities all contribute to the level of happiness we experience in our lives. Some find happiness in their careers while others prefer the bliss found in their marriages or other intimate relationship.
No matter how you define happiness for yourself, there are certain universal and time-proven strategies to bring, and sustain, more happiness into your life. The following 14 ways to live a happy life can be adapted and even customized to fit your needs. Over time, these strategies will become positive and life-changing habits that will begin to bring more happiness, joy and peace into your life.
1. Notice What’s Right
2. Be Grateful
3. Remember the Kid You Were
4. Be Kind
5. Spend Time with Your Friends
Although an abundant social and romantic life does not itself guarantee joy, it does have a huge impact on our happiness. Learn to spend time with your friends and make the friendships a priority in your life.
6. Savor Every Moment
9. Put on a Happy Face
Sometimes we have to fake it until we make it. I’m not suggesting that we not be honest, real or authentic, but I’m suggesting, sometimes, we just need to put on a happy face and keep moving forward. Researchers claim that smiling and looking like we are happy will indeed make us happier. Studies further show that if we act like we are happy then we can experience greater joy and happiness in our lives.
10. Pursue Your Goals
11. Finding Your Calling
12. Get into the Flow
13. Play to Your Strengths
14. Don’t Overdo It
14 Timeless Ways to Live a Happy Life
At some point in the various journeys we embark on in our lives, we get to a part where we feel like giving up. Sometimes we give up before we even start and other times we give up just before we are about to make that huge break-through that we have been putting so much effort in to achieve.
1- As Long As You Are Alive Anything Is Possible
2- Be Realistic
3- Michael Jordan
4- Lance Armstrong
5- Muhammad Ali
6- The Man Who Created The Marathon
7- Chris Gardner – The Pursuit of Happiness
8- Kanye West
9- Nelson Mandela
10- You Are Strong
11- Prove Yourself
12- Has It Been Done Before?
13- Believe In Your Dreams
14- Your Family and Friends.
15- Because I Tell You To.
16- There Are People Worse-Off
17- Improve Our World
18- Get Rich or Die Trying
19- Let The Haters Hate
20- You Deserve To Be Happy
21- Inspire Others
22- You Are So Close
P.S. NEVER GIVE UP!
22 Reasons To Never Give Up